Sometimes We Forget

Family –

As you know, I coach football and work as chair of the Fit4Life Youth Foundation (when I’m not flooding your in-boxes with my incessant jargon). As I was going through my layers of social media applications; responding to messages and looking at pictures I stumbled across something that was pretty amazing. With that, I thought I would share it with you today…

No, I didn’t find a horse’s head in my bed this morning or a pot of gold at the end of a rainbow… but it was something just as breath-taking.

Follow me here…

Any give season can present its share of grueling practices, intense workouts, hours of film study, game planning meetings, heated disagreements and physically, emotionally and mentally exhausting games. Through all of this both athlete and coach continue to forge ahead pushing themselves to the pinnacle of their very being. “Fighting for that inch,” as Al Pacino said in Any Given Sunday.

Coach McBride during a "Relentless" Workout

Sometimes as coaches we forget how important our role is in the lives of the young people we mentor. Year after year we touch young lives with the hope of teaching them something about the sport they love, while educating them about the bigger game of life.

However, on occasion, we receive a subtle reminder of how much our dedication and compassion means to the ones we coach. For me this realization came in the form of a message via Facebook® from one of my athletes through my Fit4Life program Relentless Sports.

As you read this short note try to think back to a coach who made an impact on your life in a positive way… to me this is one of the greatest victories in all of sport. In honesty, I couldn’t help but choke back the huge lump in my throat when I read it…

“Coach! It has been way too long since I have seen you! Literally till this day all I repeat in my mind is relentless, throughout my races when I have to dig deep relentless and your training program is what I think of. You are the most inspirational coach I have ever had and I can't thank you enough for what you had taught me. Thanks Coach!”

My response:

You have no idea how much that means to me ****... I'm so proud of you! To see how far you've come and how many things you've accomplished... and it's only the very beginning! Keep working, stay focused and always remember to "Live Relentless!"

Coach Mac

For those of you who are coaches out there please keep in mind how much you mean to them. They ARE listening to you…even if they don’t always execute the way you want them to… they HEAR everything you say and WATCH everything you do!

God Bless Coaching!

The Next Play

Family –

As you know this blog is dedicated to using sport as a conduit to understanding the importance of character development through sport and partially to spark some conversation regarding specific events that happen in the sports’ world.

One of the recurring themes that we’ve all faced is the importance of the “next play.” Since the time we were young our coaches (hopefully) have emphasized the importance of fundamentals, toughness and execution… but within those three critical points there is something else that I would add to this simple success equation.

Why thank you…. I’m glad you asked.

My point would be to simply “move on to the next play.”

What does that mean exactly?

Again… glad you asked.

Getting to the “next play” simply means moving on and learning from the mistakes that we’ve made in the past. No one… NO ONE makes all the right decisions ALL of the time. This is true in sport from the youth level all the way up to the pinnacle of the professional ranks… it’s even more relevant in our life decisions.

How many times have we (I know I have) beat ourselves up for a poor decision that has long since passed? Using the proverbial bat to whack ourselves over the head for a bone-headed decision that in retrospect shouldn’t have been made? Living in the comfortably-numb state of “If I had only….?”

I know right? Happens all the time…

Which One Will You Choose?

In those moments if we could reach back to the times in our sport experience where we had to “move on to the next play” maybe some of our self-loathing, destructive thought processes could be eradicated.

Think about it… if you throw an interception or fumble in football – “next play.” If you make a turnover or miss a lay-up in basketball – “next play.” If you happen to give up a goal in soccer, hockey or lacrosse – “next play.” If you give up a home run or commit an error in baseball or softball – “next play.”

So if you happen to be in a negative situation brought on by a poor decision that was made in the past – “next play.”  The good news is life never runs out of plays… until life itself is over. 

Games always have a time limit.

I’m a true believer in the idea that we cannot move forward when we are labored with the ghosts of the past. Now that doesn’t mean that the decisions we’ve made in the past don’t have an effect on us today, but it does mean we can choose to move forward and attack each day to enjoy every morsel of positive energy it can bring… or we can choose to wallow in shame and self-pity refusing to forgive ourselves and get on with our lives.

The choice my good family is ours to make. We can worry about previous life events that happened to be negative and miss the excitement and goodness of what’s yet to come or we can simply run the “next play.”

Which will you choose??

Sport is Life.

Pump Yo' Brakes

Family –

My apologies for taking so long to get back to the laptop, but since spring football started there has been a huge time commitment that has required most all of my attention. To that end, I would be remiss if I didn’t write a short commentary on the current Everett Golson issue that caught us off gua… well some of us off guard this past weekend.

First, let me say that I am in no way minimizing the magnitude of this issue or condoning cheating… however, there have been many before  Golson who have ( hmmmm… how should I put this mildly?)… bent the academic integrity of du Lac at some point. That’s just a simple part of college life... even at Notre Dame. To think the unthinkable that it couldn’t happen at Notre Dame is simply preposterous. If you happen to be one of those people who believe “this kind of thing never happens at Notre Dame” then WAKE UP! That’s almost like saying there’s no under-age drinking or premarital sex there either!

Nevertheless I digress…

Everett Golson Spring Football '13
Photo: AP

Secondly, let’s look at this from a different perspective. Did Golson cheat by himself? I mean, let’s face it… if there’s cheating going on there’s more than one person involved…period. Is the other party a member of the football team as well? Is Golson taking the brunt of this blow because of his stature as a Notre Dame star quarterback? What’s the back story behind this whole thing?

This kinda reminds me (on a much lesser level) of the Mike Vick scandal which basically took him down as the only one involved in the dogfighting ring and he took full responsibility because of who he was….not necessarily for what he did. I know that might offend some animal lovers out there, but there’s glaring truth there. If we think Mike Vick was the only professional athlete or high profile person at those “hosted” dogfights we need to WAKE UP! Again, not defending the action, but making the point that he didn't act alone.

Hmmmmm…let’s see… if Golson plagiarized then there had to be something or someone he plagiarized from, right? If he cheated on an exam there had to be something or someone he cheated with, right? I don’t know about you, but I would rather have all of the ingredients to my cake before I take a bite. By that I mean, let’s just hold off on passing judgment until we have all the facts of the case. Per usual, my Alma Mater is being as tight-lipped about this incident as possible given its sensitive nature AND the potential risk of stain to the Notre Dame persona.

Thirdly, let’s remember this is a kid… not saying that he didn’t make a poor choice, but he’s still a kid… Raise your hand if you never made a bad decision. Exactly... the only difference is that it probably wasn't played out in the national media circus. Now there are rumors about him leaving to go to the SEC and Gunner Kiel returning… baaaah hogwash! Kids make bad decisions… just because he happens to be the starting quarterback at one of the most storied educational institutions in the land doesn’t negate that fact. 

How ‘bout this…. Let’s get all the facts about the situation before we condemn Golson as an immoral son of Cain. Is that possible? I think there’s something really “special” about wearing number five at Notre Dame these days… good grief!

Jus sayin’

At What Point is Enough... Enough?

Family –

As you know, I’ve taken some time away from the pen…err… keyboard to work on getting ready for the upcoming football season and to develop some projects that should be dropping in the fall. I’ve missed sharing my thoughts with you.

I come to you today asking for your counsel…. I have one simple question for you: “At what point is enough... enough?”

The reason I ask this question is that a close, personal friend of mine called me today and told me that his son quit his high school football program because of the head football coach. Now, this might not seem like such a big deal to you since this kind of thing happens every day, but let me give you a little bit of the “back story.”

This student-athlete played six (6) years of youth football and was one of my personal clients for three years prior to beginning his high school career. During his freshman year he won the team’s “Ironman of the Year” Award which was given to the kid who, in the mind of the coaching staff, embodied everything they expect from a player with regard to toughness, commitment and respect for coaches, other players and the game of football. He also boasts a 4.7 GPA while taking five... count them five AP courses!

Former Quarterback Blake McBride - 2012

That’s not even the worst of it…

When the young man came in to tell the coach he no longer wanted to be part of the program, the coach didn’t even ask why… his statement was: “Ok… go see your counselor” which is to imply go see your counselor to change your schedule to get out of the 7^th period football class.

Wait... what? Is that it?

This just so happens to be the same coach to whom I asked my former coach Lou Holtz how to approach knowing he had no intent to protect and develop young men, but rather to win games (which he has failed to do consistently in his 7 years as head coach). The great Joe Ehrmann even spoke at the high school last week… and it’s obvious to this former football parent and current varisty football coach that this man wasn’t in attendance.

The ultimate slap in this whole thing is that this is a Catholic School who boasts its faith and community to everyone while allowing its young people to be bullied by someone who is trusted to help build the leaders of tomorrow!

Really???

At what point is enough... enough? When does the school take notice of the attrition of athletes from the football program and those leaving the school to participate in the same sport at another school before they do something? What is a parent to do? More importantly what are the kids to do? Kids want to play football, but would rather give it up than deal with encouraged bullying by the very institution they’re paying to educate them. Exactly what are they supposed to be learning from all of this? What would you do? What is anyone to do in this situation?

Something, is seriously wrong here… but then again denial comes in all shapes, forms and sizes. 

Private Catholic school lends no exception.

#JusSayin

What Happened in Jersey???

Family –

It’s taken some time for me to get back to the pad and pen and it seems that it’s none too soon given what’s been going on in sports recently.

Let’s tackle the obvious first… what the hell was Rutgers thinking? Short of committing Rice to a mental institution for rehabilitation there was no fix for that situation. It’s obvious that Pernetti was acting in the best interest of the student-athletes AND the university but he was basically told to sit down and shut up… what was he supposed to do?

Wait… what?

Isn’t the primary job of the athletic department to keep its most valuable assets safe? I mean let’s be real here… it ain’t like Rutgers was on the verge of winning a national title in basketball or even contending for anything less than a 15 seed  in the NCAA tournament… so what’s the issue with replacing an abusive psychopath?

I’m gonna go out on a limb and assume that you’ve all seen the videotape footage. What the…? If he wasn’t throwing a basketball at them he was grabbing them or shoving them and in some cases kicking them.  I can’t even imagine what the verbal abuse was like. I think what’s most impressive is the fact that the athletes never fought back…. that my dear friends is a sign of extreme fear. Not fear in the sense of being afraid of him physically, but afraid of riding the bench if you stand up to him… afraid that the university wouldn’t back you up… I mean, if the university doesn’t back the AD what leg does an 18-19 year-old student-athlete have to stand on? Otherwise Rice would have been dropped like a cigarette butt.

Think about it for a minute. 

You’re a division one college basketball player. You have classes, lunch, maybe a tutorial and then you have to go to a place that you’re deathly afraid of and endure hours of physical, mental and emotional abuse….knowing that every day would yield the same outcome. What must the mental state of those young men be like? I can’t watch the video without honestly becoming angrily emotional myself.

The first thing Rutgers needs to do is seek counseling for those young men so they can move forward and be productive in their lives. Secondly, the NCAA needs to allow those young men to leave the university without penalty or question given what they’ve endured. Which I think is part of the process when a head coach leaves. I mean, who did Rice think he was? How could he come into a parents’ home, praise there son, promise to protect him, offer him a scholarship and then use him for a personal whipping post?

Something’s missing… as much as I hate to agree with the spineless president of Rutgers University, “Why was nothing ever reported before?” Oh wait… there was an assistant coach (Eric Murdock) who told the athletic department about Rice’s behavior after he was fired and later filed a wrongful termination claim against Rutgers for $950K… but I’m guessing that was dismissed as a disgruntled action right?

I’m not going to continue to beat the dead horse because it’s all out in the open now… but I couldn’t keep quiet about it… I’ve seen some pretty intense things…even at Notre Dame and in the pros… but there’s no way the administration should have allowed what happened to happen without some type of reparation for those student-athletes… never.

Wake up people… sport is in a bad way right now… between the money, coaches’ egos and the driving pressure to win somehow we’ve lost focus on what sport was created to teach – commitment, togetherness, integrity, discipline AND love.

What the hell are we doing?

The Momentum Effect

Family –

As you know I’ve launched a “Sport is Life” Initiative which underscores the importance of sport in all aspects of our lives. Today, I would like to discuss one of the intangibles we sometimes forget about when dealing with trials and tribulations in our lives…

“The Momentum Effect.”

Lemme ‘Splain…

In any sport there comes a time when there is a momentum shift. Let’s take the most recent Super Bowl for example. The Ravens were completely decapitating the Forty-Niners before the blackout. They were dominating in all phases of the game… offense, defense and special teams. It seemed the favored Niners had no answer for anything the Ravens threw their way. After the infamous blackout ended some 40 minutes later and play resumed there was a complete momentum shift in the game. The Forty-Niners came storming back and were, in my opinion, a couple of good goal line play calls away from winning the championship.

Coaches Jim and John Harbaugh
Photo: AP

So what happened? I’m glad you asked….

There was a momentum shift created by the blackout… the Forty-Niners were able to re-group, re-focus, make the necessary adjustments to their game plan and get themselves back on track. They went back to what got them to the Super Bowl in the first place. They began to slowly and methodically execute their plan and with just under two minutes left to go in the game, were in position to emerge victorious.

There is no difference in this scenario than what we deal with on a daily basis. We all have issues, struggles and turmoil in our lives. Sometimes negative momentum seemingly takes complete control. In those times it’s important to remember nothing ever stays the same. Things aren’t always great and things aren’t always bad, but consistency comes from our attitudes and how we respond. Just as the Niners did in the Super Bowl, if we can take a moment and “black out” the pending issues in our lives and re-focus our attentions on our plan for success our momentum will undoubtedly change.

Coach Holtz used to always tell our team, “Nothing’s as good as it seems and nothing's as bad as it seems, but somewhere in the middle reality falls.” Sounds like good advice for those of us who need a momentum shift. Take a moment to re-focus your energy and efforts on the positive things in your life and get back to doing the things that made you success in the beginning. There's no coincidence that you are where you are... and if you want to change your current position make the necessary adjustments to your game plan for success.

Bring on the blackout!

Sport is Life.

How We Win...in Life ~ "The Plan"

Family –

I was sitting here contemplating what to write about when it occurred to me that I could give you a little background on my sport experience and put a "Sport is Life" spin on it at the same time. I played under the legendary Lou Holtz at the University of Notre Dame… any player who played under Coach Holtz can tell you we probably worked harder than any team in the country at that time, but it wasn’t without objective… we had a plan. As a matter of fact we had something called: “The Plan: How We Win.” That same plan that coach gave us to win in football can also be used as a catalyst for our success in life.

Lemme ‘splain.

Each week when we had our team meeting Coach Holtz would go over “The Plan” with us to make sure we understood what it took to be a successful team. No matter who we played he would go over “The Plan” in our team meeting both at the beginning of the week and the night before the game (just to make sure we understood what it took). Here it is:

1.       Out Hit – We had to be more physical than the team we played on Saturday. Being physical allowed us to impose our will on an opponent.

2.      Fundamentals – Being fundamentally sound would allow us to gain an advantage over a team who was less focused on the little things.

3.      Seven Areas: These were the meat of “The Plan” and were a critical part of our success.

a.      Turnovers: Protect the ball on offense and get takeaways on defense

b.      The Bomb: Don’t give up the big play on defense and create big plays on offense

c.       Missed Assignments: Knowing what to do insured we didn’t make mental mistakes

d.      Third Down: Convert third down on offense and get off the field by forcing a punt on defense after third down

e.      Foolish Penalties: This one speaks for itself

f.        Goal Line: Punch it in on offense and get stops on defense

g.      Kicking Game:  25% of the game is special teams… we had to make a difference in this area

4.      Togetherness: No one ever came between us. We won together… we lost (on occasion) together.

5.      Don’t Flinch: No matter what happened we believed we would find a way to win… we believed in ourselves, our coaches and each other.

These same principles can be applied in our lives today….how? I’m glad you asked – lemme ‘splain again.

1.       Out Hit: We can’t literally “Out hit” anyone in our daily lives but we can have a tenacious attitude and refuse to lose. At the end of the day this part of “The Plan” was all about attitude – period.

2.      Fundamentals: Our fundamentals are nothing more than our core beliefs. Who are you as a person? What do you fundamentally believe to be right or wrong? Remember, integrity is who you are when no one’s watching.

3.      Seven Areas:

a.      Turnovers: when you have the ball, keep the ball. In other words, make the most of every situation. You never know when the opportunity will come again.

b.      The Bomb: Big things happen, but not by accident. It takes hard work and preparation to make big things happen in life.

c.       Missed Assignments: Seriously? How can you possibly not know everything there is to know about your craft? As professionals that’s what we’re paid to do. Get after it. Missing an assignment at work can cost you your job!

d.      Third Down: Sometimes things don’t always go as planned, but you have make it happen. Whatever “it” is if “it’s” going to happen you have to make “it” happen.

e.      Foolish Penalties: Well…err… guess there’s no easy way to say this – You can’t do DUMB stuff. Be smart, use common sense and keep your reputation intact.

f.        Goal Line: When you get your chance... make the most of it. There are no free lunches.

g.      Kicking Game: There's no such thing as small things when it comes to your livelihood. Take every opportunity seriously because little things add up. I mean it takes 100 pennies to make a dollar right?

4.      Togetherness: As I said before sometimes life throws you a curve… you have to keep it together. Try to keep company with like-minded people. Like attracts like… there’s no question here.

5.      Don’t Flinch: No matter how difficult things get, no matter how dire the situation you must keep the faith and believe that you can make it. Everyone has challenges in life, but there's no need to stress out… just get it done. Believe in yourself!

“The Plan” became part of my life in the fall of 1990 and has been part of my daily thought process since. Thank you Coach Holtz for sharing an infallible life plan with me. I didn't always understand as a young man what you meant... but now I am completely aware of the incredible guidance you gave.

Perhaps there is something in this post that gives you pause for consideration as you move forward in your life’s journey. Maybe personally...maybe professionally... maybe even in your relationships... who knows? Only you can answer those questions. 

If nothing else, please always remember: “Sport if Life.”